I hope everyone has had an amazing magical Christmas. Ours was... different, without David. It was bitter sweet. But we all seemed to crack a few smiles and enjoy the day. He was definitely in everyone's minds and I'm sure he was there with us. I definitely felt like I was being watched with dismay whilst putting the boys scaletrix together... Backwards!!
The boys were totally thrilled with their presents. Danny got a robot dinosaur (which is so much fun!) from santa and Connor a brilliant little helicopter with a working winch, siren and propeller! Along with a scaletrix, avengers action figures, books puzzles and an enormous tub of duplo to name a few. I was spoilt too, and so chuffed Craig had actually brought me a present that I didn't know about, and it was beautiful. He surprised me with a charm bracelet, and the charms he had chosen were really thoughtful! My favourite being one with pearls in because he knew my Nanny used to wear pearls and I love it! I'm a lucky girl!
We watched movies and the boys had cuddles with everyone and I drank too much rum and couldn't contain myself when Dawn put the turkey on the table and said to 'grab your meat' honestly... Ha!
So now it's the weird in the middle of Christmas and new year where all you hear about is sales and new year diets (which by the way I really need to!) It is a good time however, to reflect on the past year and look to the new year and really begin to think about it all. Sorry, starting to sound like a fortune cookie! I usually hate new year because I have just gotten comfortable in the current year, and now it's all cold, and the 1/1 and all shiney and new and unfamiliar. I've said before I'm a creature of comfort, however I'm glad to see the back of this one!
2015 has been a bastard. An all singing all dancing bastard. I would easily say it's been our worst year ever. There has been so much sadness, soul crushing, bone aching sadness. Loads of real crappy times plus three miscarriages, finding out about and dealing with Jacky and her diagnosis, and the loss of David....it's been one hell of a year.
I am 100% not the same person who I was at the beginning of this year. And I'm glad. I've learnt that actually I am really strong and much more capable of things than I first thought. I appreciate my boys and Craig on a whole new level, which in turn has made all of our relationships stronger. That actually, it is important for me to do things just for me too. Perhaps the main reason for starting this blog.
I have began to reignite passions within me that just got back benched for a while. Still just a flicker at the moment but a start! I've realised who is really important to me. Who is always there when I need them and who isn't. That's been a biggy.
Of course there have been moments in the last year that have been fantastic too. Danny starting nursery, family trips out and as many lovely memories with my boys as I could hope for. How they have grown into real independent little boys and how fast they change. A year from now they will be unrecognisable and that both excites and terrifies me!
I have had my hormonal blood test results back regarding the miscarriages. All totally normal. So although I have no answers I carry no guilt either. So that's a positive note to start the new year with. Plus Craig's job has many exciting opportunities on the horizon. I'm very lucky to have such a motivated and family orientated man by my side. So again, exciting news! I have sent off my volunteer forms to age UK so hopefully in a few weeks I'll hear from them, it will feel great to be working with people again, and hopefully helping them too. Connor will start nursery in April, which totally guts me (he's my baby!!) and excites me too. He totally loved his taster session and I look forward to seeing him bloom and make new friends, just like Danny has. Plus I have a little neice due in a matter of weeks so I'm very excited about buying pink and being the cool Aunty Grace!!
Okay, so a few resolutions/hopes for 2016
1. ( everyone's number one!) I do actually need to loose some weight now, no more excuses!
2. Drink less coffee, more water!
3. Organise to see my friends more often (although this is not my fault, they are as bad as me!)
4. Carry on writing be it this blog, short stories, kids stories just get some of my ideas down on paper!
5. Seriously start saving some money, even if its just a little each month. I really need to change my last name at some point and wear a pretty white dress!! Really!
6. I hope Connor has a brilliant time at nursery and Danny at school when he starts in September (ahhhhhh)
7. Get my hair cut more than once a year!!
8. That I either have or am pregnant with baby number 3 and he /she arrives safely!
9. See more of my family, as few and far between as it is!
10: Buy more lottery tickets so I actually stand a chance of winning. Because well, I really want to please!?
Happy new year everyone. 2016 is going to be good. I can feel it!
Thanks for visiting XxxxX
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