11 years in the making

Don't worry, this won't all be slushy mush! But yesterday was our 11 year anniversary . I just feel, in this day and age two people in their twenties who have been together for 11 years is pretty special. We haven't done anything particularly extravagant to celebrate, nice meal and a bottle of wine cuddled up on the sofa and we made each other little 'vouchers' for breakfast in bed, little gifts etc etc. Craig did however post usher and Alicia keys my boo to my face book page. Which is a hugely cheesy, fluffy song....but it was the song playing in the background during our first kiss....nawwwh. Okay, blergh too much mush ha! I was just surprised he remembered!
We met when I was 14, he was 17 chatting over MSN messenger ha! Our first date to the cinema was hideously akward as we were both terrified!

Fast forward a few years and I moved into his parent's home with him at 17. Few more years and at 19 we moved into our first little house together.  We felt so grown up!  Two years later we became parents to our little Danny. Seeing Craig hold Danny for the first time, becoming a Dad made me fall in love with him in a whole new and bigger way. Another house move, and 10 days later another wonderful son, our little Connor. Again watching him become a father of one to two is something quite magical. I'll never forget his face taking in our new born son. Ahhhh :-D

We have been through a lot together. Highs and lows but always together. Who would have thought two akward teenagers would still be together 11 years later as fully fledged adults (apparently!) with two beautiful sons, a lovely home a dog and two budgies ha! In the next 11 years I hope we complete our family with the third and final child we have always dreamed of, I FINALLY change my last name and we would just still be happy and together, plus I'd love to be a foster mumma too but we shall see! I'm excited to find out!

Thanks for visiting XxxxX

Secret life of a tall girl!

Good evening!  I haven't posted in some time not because I've been particularly busy, more because I haven't really had much to write about!  I have been consumed with writing lists and to do lists as with Danny's birthday, our anniversary, Christmas and Connor's birthday in the next 9 weeks safe to say I have enough to keep me occupied!  I'm especially looking forward to Christmas this year because for the first time since the boys have been born Craig has Christmas eve off work. So I'm planning a pj day with baking and movies and eeek (yes even this requires planning....I'm a little obsessed!)

The bottom line is I just want Christmas to be super special and full of magic for my boys. We have already brought a few new decorations (that we probably don't need) but I instantly fell in love with this I couldn't say no!! His lamp lights up as well, super cute!

Also, as a side note.. This is my latest China jewlery arrival. It's gorgeous, I feel like an Egyptian Queen wearing it ha! Although Craig reckons it looks like a face /skull... Idiot.

I have my eye on a Christmas snow globe too. I did have one with Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus ( I'm not particularly religious but feel it's important to teach the boys the Christmas story.) Plus it was really sweet, it wound up and played silent night and had beautiful carvings around the bottom. I really loved it.. Well until last year when Danny accidently smashed it!  You know that plastered fake smile you use when you don't want someone to worry but inside you want to scream/ cry? Yeah...

But anyways enough about Christmas. I'm sure I'll have quite a few festive posts to scribble out! I've come to realise I REALLY need to buy some new clothes. I hate clothes shopping. I really do. I have never ever enjoyed a day out shopping for clothes and I have never prolonged the experience by trying things on in the shop (who does that?!)  If I buy clothes it's online and usually only because I have an event coming up (rare) and I need something not covered in stains and crap.
I have noticed that I seem to only wear a few tops because I have so many with holes in, shrunk in the tumble dryer or that I've worn them so much they now resemble rags.
Now, I believe my hate of clothes shopping is a direct result of my height.
Yes, my height. I am in no way, shape or form 'petite'. I am 5'12, a size 7 shoe and size 12/14 top and 16 bottom. My arse is huge,  okay! I have always been quite jealous of the 'cute' 'tiny' 'adorable' short girls. But then again, people describe children like that... And bunnies.

I literally have the hardest time ever finding clothes that fit! I have to shop in the 'tall' section of EVERYWHERE. You know because any woman over the height of 5 foot is a giantress and can't shop in the normal section haha! I'm not being dramatic here it's true!
Any trousers that are not from the tall or extra long section ~ ankle swingers or don't go high enough to cover your arse ( okay maybe that's  just me!)
Peplum tops - crop tops or show your tummy at least
Maxi dresses- perrlease!!  Maybe once in a blue moon!!
Play/ jump suits - either a huge front wedgie/ camel toe or you may aswell cut the straps off as they won't reach your shoulders... same goes for one piece swim suits
Pretty much any t shirt or top supposed to finish just over your jeans button - akward length that shows your tummy and back as soon as you stretch,  bend or well move.
Skirts or shorts - knee length on anyone else may just cover my arse
Tights....just forget it go with stockings instead
Dresses - again they have to be preeety long to get to my knees.
High heels - yeah, if I want to bang my head on door frames, light fittings and ceiling beams....Tower even more so over every one else including the men, and to probably look like a drag queen!
So yeah, annoying. If I had a top for every time I shopped in the normal section and thought ahh, I'm just being silly this will be fine. Until I wear it a few times and spend the whole day pulling it back in place .. Oh wait, I do! In the I cant wear this, it's too short  drawer!!
But with my two day to day jeans now sporting way too many holes and my options of wearable tops at an all time low I better get back to online shopping. And getting charged more for the same top as a normal sized girl simply because I need a few more inches of fabric..
Still, deep down I do kind of love my height (minus the clothes shopping!) at least I can always reach the top shelf, I was an amazing goal keeper in netball at school because no one could throw it over my head! I can always see everything in a crowd and there are very few people who can physically look down on me, which also means I've never been babied by anyone. Plus, with me at 5 '12 and Craig a few inches taller our boys are going to be huge!! I guess being tall kind of demands respect, perhaps even intimidating ... Because if not I can crush you like a bug, puney human!

Anyways, wish me luck!

 Thanks for visiting XxxxX

Half the world away....

Helloo there!
So this week has actually been fairly eventful (for once!)  Whilst at Centre Parcs we tried to have some professional photographs taken. Danny was jumping about smiling but Connor was having NONE OF IT!!  Here are some of the photo proofs.

 I spent the whole time chasing and wrestling him and the guy doing it did try his best.. They are lovely but at 25.00 a pop I'll pass. So Craig's parents organised another shoot and after a few days of psyching Connor up he was fab. Lots of 'cheeeses' and looking at the camera, hulk came along too!! Danny was a star aswell, he did a few alone jumping about like iron man, his face beaming! I am so excited to see them soon! She took a few of me and Craig too....I should have had a few shots of whiskey beforehand. (Speaking of whiskey.... I treated myself to this which is really quite lovely and gives you the warm fuzzy feeling!)

Whilst having our photo I felt a total akward goose! It would be lovely to have a nice photo of us together though! There aren't many... Because this happens..

Although heres a very old, 9 years maybe, photo of us that is half decent. Although Craig looks like a member of oasis and I am pulling some weird face!

So, I'm guessing everyone has seen the the John Lewis advert this year.

The man in the moon. Now I look forward to the Christmas adverts every year, especially John Lewis. The bear and the hare is my all time favourite. I watched this one with the haunting version of half the world away playing in the background. Honestly,  afterwards I felt so crap. I've watched it again and again,  damn it's so sad!  I just wanted to fly up and pick the old dude up and put him in my pocket. I did a little research and the statistics of elderly people who have little or no social interaction in the space of a week is heart breaking. I honestly had no idea. I have no living grandparents or great grandparents. I remember how much I admired my Nanny and my great grandparents. How I would listen to their stories. They all died when I was pretty young. I would love to have that again, and for my boys to. I emailed age UK and asked to volunteer to visit an elderly person a few times a week. (I'm sure loads of people have done the same thing after that advert so it has got the message across!) I'm genuinely really excited about it and hope something comes of it!

We had our fireworks on Sunday with the family over. As Danny was at a party on the 5th (not that he managed to stay awake for the whole thing bless him!). I had to carry my little iron man all the way home!  They really enjoyed it, especially the sparklers! It was lovely to have all the family over too. Will be a repeat performance in a few weeks as Danny turns 4!! Ahh!! How has that even happend!!?? We are hoping to surprise him with a trip to see the dinosaurs at the natural history museum!  Very excited!

On Monday we had our appointment at the hospital regarding our consecutive miscarriages. The consultant was lovely and has basically given us every possible test we can have with the mindset that we will find nothing but to test anyways. I came out of the appointment happy and feeling like she is really helping us. So that's a massive weight off my shoulders. Just the first step towards baby number three! I'm really feeling positive about it all now. After all, it's worth the fight!

Today has just been me and the boys at home making 'boats' out of pillows and playing pirates and castles.  Which has been lovely!  I'm also making progress with our very grumpy budgie!!

The boys fell asleep early tonight so I've been indulging in a spot of Christmas shopping this evening leaving them asleep and Daddy to play his playstation (I'm a call of duty widow!) in peace!

Thank you for visiting!  XxxxX

The story behind the name

Okay, so thought tonight I would explain the title of my blog. Wonderfully terrified...What's that all about!?
Basically it's a phrase I've used to describe big events in my life. Events that have been exciting, a huge change or something where I have just had to close my eyes and jump.

I'm what I like to call a 'snowballer' I can take any normal situation and snowball it into something totally ridiculous in my mind. (Mountain out of a molehill) This makes me over think EVERYTHING and, at times, I can be pretty anxious about silly things. Growing up I was painfully shy. I'm a lot better now, but it still takes a push sometimes.

Things I have found "Wonderfully terrifying" are events like playing Memory from Cats the musical on the piano infront of my entire middle school, talking to literally anyone whilst at high school, meeting Craig for the first time after chatting online for months and months!  Going to college for my A levels, getting a promotion at work, every time I've fallen pregnant,  having my sons and becoming a Mum, saying yes to Craig when he proposed, leaving (not that I had much choice) my job to care for my boys, moving to this house at 39 weeks pregnant with Connor!! Just to name a few!
So yeah, that's what "Wonderfully terrified" is all about! Hope you're all enjoying the fireworks! Me and the boys were up the window watching the display at the green near ours this evening, we are having the family over tomorrow for ours. The boys are very excited!

Thanks for visiting!  XxxxX

Grace - AKA Prize plonker!

Phew! You know those days when you think man, I'm failing hard today!? Today was one of those days!!
  I took Danny to nursery, his first day back after half term..... and guess which mum forgot to do the 'homework' (make a picture out of the supplied arty bits for a project)  with their child!? I noticed some of the other children holding their envelopes and I instantly thought ahh shit, ours is still on the fridge, unopened! Maybe Danny won't realise and we can do it tonight ready for tomorrow, it's just a little gluing picture no biggie, bet half the parents haven't done it.

Oh how wrong I was! When I picked Danny up today (with Connor dressed as a knight with a helmet and sword, as you do) his key worker came out with him. This is never a good thing. My mind starts snowballing... Oh no what's happened!?
Danny is a total goody two shoes and wouldnt ever hurt anyone or do anything naughty for sheer fear of going on 'the black cloud ' (I seriously need one of those at home). He was wearing the same clothes so no accidents, no visible cuts or bruises..what is it!?
Danny had seen the other kids have photos done of their pictures and he broke down because he hadn't done his! Ahh bad Mummy!! His key worker is lovely and gave us another pack and reassured Danny (so everything was right in his world.. He adores her!) Obviously, we got home and instantly got the glue glitter and stickers out and completed a master piece which will knock the other kids out of the park! Complete with dinosaur sticker of course! Ha!  Phew, disaster averted.

Oh no, more to come. We had dinner, tidied up. A hot panic feeling slowly growing in my gut after every room is tidied and Connor's beloved hulk and avengers backpack is nowhere to be seen. We go upstairs for a bath and bed. I'm hunting in cupboards and under beds like a crazy woman... No hulk. Once he's in his pj's he asks the question I was dreading...  "Mumma, where's hulk? " Ahhhh!  The last time I saw him have it he was wearing the back pack on the way to nursery drop off. All I can think is when Danny was taking off his coat and bag whilst trying to help Danny, put his umbrella down, pull out his lunch and drink Connor had copied and taken off his backpack.. Oh no. How did I not notice??
 Connor is almost surgectly attached to this Hulk. He sleeps with him, eats with him even poops with him!  Argh!
Luckily he was so tired he fell asleep fairly quickly but crying on my lap. He wanted his hulk!  Once he was asleep I turned the house upside down, no luck. I considered going to the school in the hope the cleaners would let me in, but thought better of it.  Plus it was 7pm and I doubt they were still there.
F##k it. Hair in a bun, no make up on I drive like a crazy woman to B&M praying there's another Hulk. I was literally climbing the Isle! One left!! I felt like I was in that crazy Christmas film! With new hulk in hand I attempt to get to cherry lane to get another bag too. I drove down super creepy country roads in the dark, raining. Closed. Bum. But nevermind, I have the main thing.

I tiptoe back into his room and place new hulk under his arm. It's a shake and smash hulk, so he speaks when you shake him.  So there I am trying to be quiet and the bloody thing (I guess because he's new and still sensitive as he hasn't been bashed about yet) shouts "no one shakes the hulk!" grrrr...Connor wakes slightly and cuddles new hulk and says in the cutest half asleep way...' thank you Mumma. "
And that right there is why everything is worth it. That filled my heart with so much love it made me want to cry, and made me realise all the crazy faffing I do for these boys is actually what makes my life beautiful.

So forgetting Danny's work and loosing Connor's most precious toy in one day (oh. And I dropped the hoover down the stairs today! Ergh) Let's hope I'm not such a tit tomorrow!!

Thank you for visiting! XxxxX