Just another little catch up, with a few Christmas sprinkles!

As usual it's been forever since my last post. Life has just been a little crazy lately and time has gotten away from me. Plus, if I've had any spare time to sit on my phone for a while I'm usually faffing about on Facebook or online Christmas shopping...whoops!
As I've already mentioned the C word and it is now officially acceptable as it's December I'll start there!! I am pretty sure we have finished Christmas shopping. I'm so excited for the kids. We may have (definitely) gone a little OTT.. but it's Christmas so if you can't now, when can you!? Danny asked Santa for a grow your own crystal kit this year ( I know what Craig will be doing all Christmas day! Ha!) Connor a Blaze monster dome and cars and Evelyn originally 'asked' for a Ragdoll but as I spent so long looking for one I thought she (I) would like with no luck Santa will be delivering her a soft cuddly elf doll. From me and Daddy she will be getting a bunny. I had a beautiful pink bunny I adored as a child but it got lost somewhere throughout the years so choosing my daughter a bunny to love, hoping it's as precious as mine was to me, was so lovely. We (I say we, Craig lost interest weeks and weeks ago and just let me loose online, just to shut me up no doubt!)  chose the jellycat grey blossom bunny. She's adorable!

Christmas is a big old deal in our house. Growing up, to me Christmas didn't really mean that much. We didn't have any bug family traditions or anything like that. infact I only watched home alone for the first ever time last year! Which was hilarious!  Danny also thought it was fab to shout Merry Christmas ya filthy animals at anyone and everyone we met which was both hilarious and mortifying at the same time!! Craig's parents were always Christmas crazy, especially his dad so it feels like a wonderful tribute to him to make sure we go as crazy over the top for the kids as he would have done. The boys love listening to and singing his favourite Christmas song,  Slade - merry Christmas (of course) and every room in the house minus the bathroom is Christmassy and I'm sure he would have approved!  We also enjoy doing the now rather popular elf on the shelf!  I don't care that people moan and say it's too commercialised and blah blah it's damn good fun! The boys both have an elf each (I want them to have one each so when they are grown and have their own families they can carry on the tradition with their own children with the elf from their childhood!) Even Evelyn will be getting one this year. I'm thinking later on the elves will write a note asking for their baby sister to come and join in too....like they will refuse!! I have a list of ideas ready for every day and have props and all sorts. I absolutely love the innocence and fun of it all and shall be doing it for many many more years as I enjoy it as much as the kids haha!!
Last year I made a conscious effort to take a picture of something Christmas related every day for the month of December. So that once the big day is here and over you can look back and remember and enjoy the build up of it all. I'm going to try and do the same this year, just thinking it's going to be a little more difficult with Danny at school and Connor at nursery 3 days a week. Honestly, I love that he enjoys it so much and have no plans to start home educating noo way! But we never seem to have any time for anything fun these days. By the time he's home and we have done his reading or homework or whatever else it's time to.cook dinner, bath and they are both in bed for 6.30! Really looking forward to the weekends! Although, saying that by about 11am Saturday morning it's all gone to pot, we are all still in our pj's, I'm drinking 4 hours old cold coffee and trying not to loose my shit as the boys are arguing over whose turn it is to pick which flipping paw patrol episode to watch next on TV.

Danny has just turned 5. 5seems so grown up! He had his first birthday party at pirate Petes which was a great success. He has made some lovely friends and seeing him so happy was really lovely for us both. He has been getting on amazingly at school. His little mind seems to have exploded and he is eager to learn something new every day. He loves coming home and telling me about the new letter sound he's learnt that day and his writing is super impressive. His first parents evening was fantastic and I'm continuously amazed by this clever little dude I'm lucky enough to call my son.

Connor is also doing brilliantly. His maths skills totally amaze me. We were playing maths games on his kindle a few days ago and he's sitting there sorting shapes and colours into groups, recognising numbers up to 100, adding and subtracting with help and counting in twos! He is still a super whizz at puzzles and his duplo trains and buildings far exceed mine! He may struggle a little with his speech but he's improving every day and it doesn't stand in the way of his ability to make friends and he always gets his point across. I do think sometimes because of his speech people tend to automatically think he must struggle with everything but it's so not the case. if anything, it's even more impressive that he does what he does! I'm so super proud of him too. Especially, as lately he has found it hard adapting to life as the middle child. We have had our struggles... drawing on the sofa being one!! I've just made sure that we have had some time together just us two, just to let him know he's still my super scrump! He came along on a Costa date with me today. I was dreading taking him,thinking he would be a nightmare. when actually, I never should have doubted him he was a total angel and enjoyed his hot chocolate and yule log muffin!!

 His parents evening went as wonderfully as Danny's. I'm so lucky to have two brilliant boys!

Evelyn has had her first little cold (a perk of having older brothers!)  and has spent most of the last week covering me in snot and puke. Not that I really mind!  I've found dark grey is a great colour to wear as it hides a lot! Haha! She's slowly starting to discover her hands and goes completely cross eyed staring at them which is stupidly cute! She's always smiling and I've heard the beginnings of her little laugh. I really hope she's laughing by Christmas! She seems to really enjoy her baby massage group. As do I as I never got to take Danny as he would have just screamed the place down as soon as I dared put him down and I never took Connor as I always had Danny. Hoping to sign up for baby yoga for when she's a little older too! She's still the most happy chilled little baby I've ever met. She feeds like a mad baby from about 7ish but sleeps from 11-6 every night! I'm one of those annoying my baby sleeps mums!  Hooray! third time lucky I say! The boys were horrors for sleeping and Connor still wakes me up every time 2/3 times and Danny is always there to wake everyone up bang on 6am every single morning!!
Anyhoo, Evelyn has decided she is having a little nap so I'm going to grab a shower (I've been puked on more times than I care to admit today so I definitely need one!!) before she wakes up!

Hopefully I'll post again before Christmas, but I make no promises!!

Thanks for visiting!
XxxX

Just a little update about the champion farter, the bug collecter and the leaf kicker ;)

Hellooo there! It's been a while! I'm currently trapped under my unusually grumpy daughter (still makes me smile saying daughter!) Who is currently farting like a trucker in her sleep... so I'm expecting a poop explosion some time soon.

She is usually such a content little thing, she's sooo much easier than her brothers ever were. She has a nice little routine of napping on school runs and awake during the day and only wakes me three times a night for a feed and then straight back down in her cot. She's starting to stare at us and almost smiling, she loves tummy time and holds her head up like a champ. She's getting big, she's already filling out 0-3 and wears some dresses in size 3-6!? She's magnificent, I generally feel like I'm cheating with her...perhaps she will make up for it as a toddler?!

Today is Wednesday, Wednesday is my favourite day of the week as both the boys are at school and nursery (awful mummy!)  and Craig's home. So it gives us a chance to actually have some time together (and Evelyn of Course) but with his work pattern sometimes it can feel like we are two passing people living in the same house only really saying Hi and a quick run down of the main points of our day, only for one of us (me) to have to rush off for a school run, a nappy change or a load of washing.

Danny turns 5 in a few weeks and Connor is 4 in January and of course Christmas bang in the middle -great planning from us there ha! So we decided to sort out the playroom before the onslaught of toys in the next few months! Plus I'm sure by this time next year a few dollies and pink toys!?  will have made their way into it too! It's been so much fun thinking about what to buy Evelyn for Christmas! I've been so excited waiting for her my first dolls house to arrive, story books about fairies and unicorns and desperately searching for the perfect Ragdoll. it's been a welcome break from transformers and avengers!

We picked up a second hand computer cupboard (remember those!) today as the boys, especially Danny, love drawing and reading and writing and their old mini kids avengers table always got piled high with books, pens with no lids, half finished drawings and their latest collections of leaves, stones, budgie feathers and interesting sticks. We put all their little collections in tubs and displayed them all inside this computer cupboard and put their lidded pens and glue on top and honestly, their little heads exploded with excitement when they saw it after school. Danny has put his favourite books on top and their prized shiney stones collection haha! Who knew a naffy computer cupboard could be so exciting!?

Danny also gets his magazine on a Wednesday. Its the kids national geographic bugs one. Each week you collect a bug in a glass block and a magazine all about them. You get display cases too, and this week came with the second case for extra large bugs. Honestly these things are his pride and joy, and us spending 5.99 on a dead bug every week makes him so happy haha!  He sits there with his magnifying glass and draws them, he's the cutest little geek ever!

Connor is doing great. He's making some lovely little friendships at nursery and has been a little cutey at home with Evelyn and is still my little scrump who has to hold my bra strap to fall asleep every night and always manages to sneak into bed with me at least twice every night! He made a little game up on the way home from school today. Just kicking leaves really, whilst singing the Blaze theme tune but he was giggling so much he said his belly hurt! It amazes me how different my boys are. Danny seems so much older than his years,  and Connor seems to be exactly where he is supposed to be as a silly three year old. Danny joined in with the leaf kicking and suddenly he seemed little too. It made me stop and realise how little they both really are and also how lovely they both are. I feel a bit stretched nowadays, and I hold my hands up, I don't do as much with them as I used to. But well, a breastfed newborn kind of has to be my main priority most of the time. But just doing something silly and simple is all they really need from me to know I'm still me. I just want to wrap them all up in a big ball and not let them get any bigger but at the same time, I can't wait to see who they will be next month, next year. Perhaps when Evelyn is a little older and can be away from me I'll start mummy and son dates as I'd really love some one to one time with each of them, even if all we do is kick leaves or find interesting sticks!

Until next time!.....I have a nappy to change!

Thanks for visiting! XxxX

And just a little quote I love :) 

The quickest nine days of my life. Evelyn Willow arrives!

9 days. Nine crazy quick, sleepy and amazing days. Nine days since my perfect, beautiful daughter Evelyn was born.
Her arrival was both quick and unexpected and totally serene and perfect at the same time. I woke up at 4am with a deep feeling of calm and excitement,  which felt odd as I was two days past my due date, huge and uncomfortable. I went to the loo and noticed a small amount of blood, so called Craig to come home from work and my mother in law to sit the boys who were both sound asleep, blissfully unaware in a matter of hours they were to become big brothers!

Off to the hospital, on the monitors and I notice the bottom number creeping up and up along with a few pains I believed to be just more Braxton hicks as I'd been tormented by them for the last month or so. After I was examined I was told I was actually not experiencing Braxton hicks, but in labour and currently at 6cm! I had a short walk to the loo and it suddenly hit me. Down to the dolphin suite for my water birth, and on the gas and air whilst waiting for the pool to fill.

The relief the water offers is instant. I immediately relaxed and totally focused on my contractions and breathing, knowing that each one was bringing me closer and closer to meeting my daughter. I remember, between the hazy mist of the gas and air telling Craig she would be born before 9am. He carried on rubbing my shoulder and giving me water just nodding and agreeing with any rubbish I was saying! But I was right!! At 8:54 I lifted her from the water and Evelyn took her first breath and we became parents of three! Her tiny hands grabbing for me and her legs thrashing about. Her little hair covered head wearing the most ridiculously awful hospital hat,whilst I caught my breath and the midwives bustled about around us.
We were only in the hospital for a few hours. I secretly enjoy the hospital stay. There's something really lovely about being in a private little room, just me Craig and our new little baby girl. Feeling like the only real link to the outside world is our buzzing phones with messages of congratulations and joy. I rang the boys at school, and told them their baby sister had arrived, the excitement in their little voices is something I won't forget.

The last nine days have had so many firsts. Even though she is my third baby!! First school run, buggy ride, first successful attempt at using the moby wrap, photo shoot and just now her first bath!  She is the happiest, most content little baby. She loves cuddles but will happily settle in her moses basket and next to me crib at night. She's feeding like a champ and she sleeps!  Danny was the hardest, clingiest baby ever. Connor was a bit easier, but with a 14 month old running about too life was pretty chaotic.
The boys have been great too. Danny loves her and is always wanting to help and cuddle her, Connor took a few days to come round to the idea but he gives her kisses and was so upset when I had her in the moby wrap and he thought she had gone back in my tummy! He cried! So he loves her really!

Life is crazy and hectic,  I've sent Danny to school with his trousers on back to front and routine and organisation has become uber important. I've forgotten how much stuff babies need to be carried about with them and every time I step out of the door I have a huge tick list to mentally complete first. Nappies? Spare clothes? How long roughly till her next feed? Buggy or wrap? How accessible are my boobs in what I'm wearing ha!! But, it's finally full, and our crazy little family is complete. It's been a long and at times soul crushing journey to get to this point but this beautiful blue eyed girl I'm holding in my arms now was worth every second, and I'm so excited for the future.

Thanks for visiting! XxxX

The calm before the storm, two days till D day, living in limbo!

Evening!

It's been a while since I wrote anything down, and with the upcoming arrival of little miss England, I dare say it will be a while till I write anything down again!
This pregnancy has felt like the longest time ever, and also it's flashed by so quickly. It almost felt like a shock when it occurred to me I'm in my last few days of pregnancy ever! I'm 100% sure I'm finished once she arrives, I have always always wanted two boys and a girl, and as my best friend says, I'm a jammy cow and got exactly what I wanted. Although it took a lot of time and heart ache to get to this point! I feel I'm full of contradictions, I absolutely adore the feeling of her squirming about in there,  her feet in my ribs, her hiccups. At the same time I'm so ready for it to be over, to close the chapter of pregnancy and birth and start a whole new one with my two awesome little boys and my DAUGHTER!


My due date is arriving in two days. I had been getting very stressed and wound up about the idea of going overdue. It almost felt like going overdue was a failure of some sort. That my body should have birthed my baby by that point. She's my third why isn't it happening yet!?  But, actually, I've realised that's all shit and I was being really hard on myself over nothing! I have had a fair few false starts, a few runs of Braxton hicks then nothing, which is rather frustrating! If it's a small glimpse into her future personality, I'm in trouble!


I've just been keeping myself busy, filling our weekends with parties and trips to the park, woods, cinema as soon these things are going to be made so much harder to organise! Plus now every cupboard, drawer and wardrobe in the house has been sorted and I finally feel like the house is ready for little miss. The nesting instinct has hit me hard this time. I found myself hoovering the garden the other day, after cutting the grass and weeding front and back. It's almost like a compulsion, I can't relax until it's done!

Recently both boys have started back at nursery and Danny has started reception. I'm so proud of the both of them. They absolutely love it and they are gaining in confidence and knowledge amazingly quick. It's hard letting my little dudes go, but they are growing into brilliant little men and I couldn't be prouder of them. (ahh, getting all teary now!)


## WARNING, MUSHY CONTENT ##

Connor has always been a bit of a git for sleeping through the night. He's the best he's ever been now. He still wakes but only for a drink or a wee and does go straight back, unless he sneaks into mine!  The other night I went upstairs and found him snuggled right in the corner of my bed. Usually I scoop him up and tuck him back up in his own bed. But I just needed to cuddle him. It hit me he's going to be a big brother soon, and not the baby anymore. That these moments are going to become rarer and rarer and eventually he won't be sneaking into my bed, or holding onto my hair or bra strap to fall asleep. I didn't realise when Danny stopped until he had, and now my little bumble monster was going the same way. I snuck in next to him and held him, ran my fingers through his hair and drank in his sweaty little head.

I also told Danny to come in with us when he woke up too early. I held him close and wondered when the hell he got so big. That little 8lbs bundle with a shock of black hair was now laying next to me his head nestled in my neck, his toes tucked under my knees.

There's no words to describe it all really. I seriously can not wait for Evelyn to arrive, to hold her to see her face, to see who she looks like. How big she will be. If she has blue eyes like her Daddy and biggest brother or brown like Mummy and Connor (one of the boys is going to be miffed as she's the tie breaker for the "blue and brown eyed teams" ha!) For her to grow and discover her likes and dislikes, to learn all about barbies and Disney Princess', to find out who she is. To just complete our beautiful little family.

But for now,  until she's here we are just taking time to enjoy and appreciate everything we have already. To enjoy uninterrupted baths and Netflix binges after the boys are asleep, not having to feel like a pack donkey everytime we leave the house, sleepless nights,  becoming a dairy cow again, being constantly covered in bodily fluids. Poo explosions, the list goes one!

So I shall carry on bouncing on my bloody ball, drinking raspberry tea, eating pineapple and curry, walking blah blah all the old wives tales that don't work! Living in limbo land, hoping every little twinge is the beginning of something amazing, waking up every day wondering if today is the day, whilst rubbing my aching ribs and back...Feeling in a constant state of being a little bit terrified, and hideously excited!

It won't be long before she comes and rocks the boat, and blows it straight out of the water into a whole new lake, one with mermaids!

Thanks for visiting! XxxX

7 weeks to go, and the lists are almost complete!!

Hellooo

It's been a while! Isn't it always!  I have to admit I've been Netflix binging as I really wanted to finish prison break before baby arrives.. I did that, and orphan black,  orange is the new black, game of thrones and currently on the last season of sons of anarchy, which is amazing!! Haha, don't judge me, Craig works nights and the boys are in bed at 6:30/7 so I have to amuse myself one way or another!

I got myself in a bit of flap. I realised I was finally into single.figures of weeks before little miss arrives and I hadn't finished her room, still had a long list of bits to buy, not washed a single thing or even thought about my hospital bag. Whoops. I'm pleased to say that I'm ALMOST finished everything now and all my lists are NEARLY all ticked off!

First off,  her room! I still keep walking into it and thinking this is crazy, that a real actual little girl will be in here soon. My little girl! I went with green and pink, flowers / roses as I found on pintrest that apparently Evelyn is a name of a rose type flower? I can't say I know if it's definitely true or not....

A David Austin rose, surprisingly hardy fragrances of peach and honey. Which sounds pretty cool!

Another big theme in her room is faries. I instantly loved the idea of bringing the idea of a fairy tale into her room, because that's what she feels like. Our happy ever after, the final chapter in our family. Here's a few pictures of everything and my favourite pieces.

The little fairies are what the boys chose for her. They both collect the schleich (not a clue how to pronounce that) animals, dinosaurs and dragons so it seemed fitting to start with the fairies range now too! Danny liked the rainbow hair one and Connor liked the other ones socks! 

The glass jar with the petals inside are the petals from the piñata when we revealed to the boys they were having a sister! The photo frames are just plain white ones i jazzed up with a bit of bung out decoupage paper, and I'm pretty pleased with the result!

The chair and chest were gifts from my sister. I absolutely love them both. They fit in so beautifully with the theme and the chest has a little Willow leaf engraved on the top (her middle name will be Willow because David, Craig's dad,  would always joke that his girl Willow was in there when I was pregnant with the boys.) And of course Evelyn on the top. I always knew somehow that if I ever had a daughter her name would start with an E. I would only really look at the E sections in baby girl name lists. Evelyn just hit me straight away, and realising it means wished for child is even more perfect!
  It's been a real roller-coaster of a pregnancy. Not that I've had any times of worry or scares (touchwood!) I have been so well looked after and baby is being checked and scanned a lot. Here's a pic of her last scan, it's her face!!  Slightly creepy but amazing!!  Looks like she's got her mum's chubby cheeks!!

It's just been hard to remain 100% positive and.not let the nagging voice of doubt and worry dilute the most exciting of times. Occasionally I've let it get the best of me, I sat and sobbed before I started painting her room. Terrified that I would have to paint over it or something ridiculous. I got so annoyed with myself for allowing myself to get in such a flap but I suppose after so many losses it's hard not to! But enough of that, she's a little fighter and apparently an up and coming cage fighter!  I regularly get a foot or a bottom poking out of my tummy!  I have a little prediction that she will be a total headstrong, stubborn little miss (with two older brothers I think she may need to be!) I can really picture a little girl, dark wild hair down to her bum in a messy pony tail, wellies and a dress covered in mud and searching for faries and goblins!  How perfect would that be!

I've now washed everything up until 3-6 months and all the bedding, blankets and soft toys so everything smells like babies! The hospital bag is almost done, just need a few more toiletries and snacks (I'm a third time mum, i know I'm going to need my own snacks for afterwards as A. I will be soooo hungry, and B. The buttered toast and shrivelled jacket potatoe just isn't going to cut it!! I'm hoping, and have been given the green light by my consultant, to have a water birth. I had one with Danny and it was so perfect! So all being well,  I should have another! I've packed a rather garish bikini top I got in the sale ready to go, it did make me chuckle when I had to explain to the checkout lady I really won't be needing the matching bottoms!! Haha! Yak!

The summer holidays are well and truly underway. We have been out almost everyday. Lots of meet ups and playdates. I'm really lucky to have so many lovely mummy friends!  Craig is off work next week (hooray!) and we have lots of exciting bits planned. Will be so lovely to have some time together with him too. We may even do a spot of new car shopping as well,  think me might need something a little bigger! I think Craig is more excited about this... He may be nice and let me pick the colour at least!

Anyways, think that's enough of a ramble on tonight. I'm off to watch sons of anarchy (so obsessed!!)  I do love this quote from it though!  The man makes sense!! And he's a bit gorgeous!

Thanks for visiting! XxxX

Changes are a foot...

It seems that myself and my family are going though a rather exciting time of positive changes right now. Which, I am so thankful for and a hugely excited for so thought I'd write them all down!

It's been a busy few weeks for Danny, and more on its way. He starts in reception class in September and he's so excited. We find out on Monday which class he will be in, everyone seems lovely so I'm sure he will love it. Ahh, my first born baby all grown up and needing uniform! Next sale,  I'm coming for you! He has been trying to convince me that he really, definitely needs a pet corn snake for his birthday (in November).  I'm probably about 75% convinced. He really does love animals and he borrowed 8 different books about snakes from the library this week. He gets me to read them to him at breakfast!  He loves watching videos on YouTube about how to care for and feed a snake (he has my warped sense of humour in the fact he finds it intensely interesting to watch a snake devour a mouse..) He is a lovely boy, but he's one of a kind. He's four, but would wonder around a toy shop for hours, lost. Unlike Connor, who looses his shit at anything car related and absolutely loves his toys and is always making up games and carrying a bag of random items around with him. He is dangerous to take into a toy shop!
Danny wants a microscope and a telescope a toy scorpion and a dinosaur fossil for Christmas and spends hours at his little desk drawing, writing and looking at books. His dream is to be a zoo keeper, and I think one day he will be an amazing one!

Connor is doing really well at nursery. He's not getting upset when I leave him now, just when I pick him up like a sudden rush of emotion, poor little munchkin. He is going to be starting three full days in September. Which will be a big change for him as he only goes two afternoons and a morning at the moment. I'm sure he will love it though. His speech is coming on so well now, he's still a little fuzzy at times but he soon finds a way to show you what he means. I do hope he can hold his temper at nursery though. He's a right little strop at times. He has been known to lamp his brother round the head with a remote control before...

Another big change that's happened in our little family recently is Craig passed his management interview. I'm so so proud of him. He worked so hard for it, and never gave up. Even when he wanted to at times. He's an amazing role model to our boys and I know that they (and our soon to be little lady)  were his determination behind it all, which... Just makes me love him that little bit more.

I'll turn 26 in September, which sounds really old Ha! It also means I'm a year closer to 30. Which is a big age to me. I wanted to be married by 30, it could still happen! Need to seriously start saving for it though, which with Craig's new job is a possibility now!! Plus, I would like baby to be about 4/5 so she could enjoy the day too, dance with daddy and wear a pretty dress! Plus, that gives me enough time to loose my wobbly bits! There's a lot of them ha!

I was also told during my Mother's diagnosis that I probably wouldn't make it to my thirties with her still here. She has picks disease (early on set dementia). She lives in a residential home and I visit her when I can. She seems to get a little worse each time. It sounds funny, but she always forgets I'm pregnant, so she always seems really shocked and I get the big reaction to the news over and over. So God knows what she will be like when I turn up with a random baby to see her, her first granddaughter...
It's hard to see her sometimes,  and I feel like I stress her out more by visiting. She always cries when she sees me, which I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing!?  Life sucks sometimes, I really do miss having a mum about, especially with young children and, another on the way.

And of course....The biggest, most dramatic life changing event due to happen in September, although for some reason I keep telling everyone October,  (due sep 28) is our baby girl's arrival! She is going to turn everything upside down and inside out and I can't wait!  It honestly still doesn't feel real. Even though I'm a walking walrus and she's going utero gymnastics in there It still feels a bit like a fairy tale.
Our kitchen is being redone in a few weeks and we need to keep her room as empty as possible to store all the kitchen bits and new kitchen in until it's finished. I can't wait for it to be done! A, because it's going to be a complete nightmare as the boys break up from nursery and what the heck am I going to do with no washing machine or oven for a week!? Argh! I don't even have a washing line, because I snapped it ha! Oh well, will be worth it when it's done as our kitchen now is way older than me! Plus, I can then put up her cot bed and her chest of drawers can come in, which I am uber excited for!!! My super clever sister is painting, waxing carving a beautiful old oak chest for her and I can't wait!! It's going to be amazing! I've almost ticked everything off her list now too, I found this little pink doll for her,  and had to get it as it reminded me of the one I had as a baby!

It will be so lovely to finally start unpacking it all, washing all the clothes and bedding with white fairy fabric conditioner (absolutely love that stuff it means cuddly lovely snuggly newborns!!)

This pregnancy has gone quite quickly, and the slowest ever at the same time. I think with everything that happened before I fell successfully with her (Past blog here) has left permanent scars. I worry about her every day and can't wait till she is here and safe in my arms. I don't quite want to announce her name, just yet. Although all family and friends already know it!  And it won't change! It means wished for child, and she certainly is!

Sorry, I didn't mean to get so deep in this post. I'm not hoping for sympathy or what not. Not at all. It's just I try to write from the heart, and what I've written about is my life and real. I've had a rough ride of it at times, but hasn't everyone? I try to take something positive from every situation, to learn from it and grow. For example,  in relation to my previous post link, i've learnt that because of the losses I've suffered before falling pregnant this time that due to tests I have been offered, I may have a blood disorder that causes my blood to clot quickly. It can't be confirmed until baby is born and my hormones are all back to normal but would most definitely, be the reason for all the heartache. Which, is particularly important to me because she is a she! If I do have this blood disorder,  then maybe when she wants to start a family she can be tested beforehand and never have to suffer like I did.  Which, is pretty special.

Anyways, now off to watch another episode of Orange is the new black, which is a lot easier and more relaxed than prison break,  that I have just finished....and totally loved! Even if I do now have a huge crush on Michael Schofield!  Ha!


Until next time!

Thanks for visiting!  XxxX

Our longleat adventure!

Yesterday Craig and I took the boys to longleat zoo. We had been there before we had the boys (which seems a lifetime ago now! Ha!) and with Danny so mad on animals and bugs and Steve Backshall we simply had to visit again with the boys!

Our day started at 5.30am. Well,  Connor decided he was so excited and was in my bed poking me, twiddling my hair  and whispering time for zoo? From 3am..cheers kid!
 It's about 250 miles from us, and Craig simply wouldn't hear anything about staying in a hotel or travel lodge! It was a waste of money and we could do it in a day easy. Plus, Danny decided he couldn't bare the thought of not sleeping in his own bed so I knew this was a battle I was going to loose!

We stopped off on the way for a wee (I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant!) and a drink and to be fair to the boys they were pretty well behaved. 4.5 hours in a car is a hideously long time but they napped, had breakfast in the car, read some books and partook in a little car karaoke... Connor is pretty good at singing shut up and dance with me! And Katy perry's roar! We did get stuck in traffic on the motorways (I seriously hate motorways now) and we had all started to get a bit grumpy but then we saw the sign and we had finally arrived! We did pass longleat centre parcs too and Danny was a little annoyed we weren't going there ha!

As you drive in you drive past longleat house, which is pretty spectacular. There's a huge lion statue outside too the whole thing screamed impressive and Danny asked if that was Buckenham palace and if we could pop to see the Queen!!

 We decided to try the safari part of the park first. You get given a cd to play whilst you drive around that's full of info and facts about the animals you can see. This really pleased animal Danny. We parked up at the 'African village ' and saw giraffes being fed and wondered around wallaby walkway and the lemar enclosure. Both of these are pretty open and you really get to see the animals up close. The wallabies were laying about and not up to much but the lemars were great fun running and chasing about, Connor spotted a mummy with two babies and he thought the three that were swinging upside down and shaking out their treats were really funny. 

The zoo keeper who was in the enclosure was really friendly and chatted about the lemars and told Danny a few of their names. 

We then found the trading post and the deadly 60 Base Camp.  Deadly 60 is Danny's absolute favourite thing ever. It's a kids programme hosted by Steve buckshall and he travels around the world finding all types of different animals and gives them a rating, he was recently on TV in a programme called fierce, which is the same kind of thing but he is honestly Danny's complete hero and he wants to be just like him. Connor enjoys watching too but I think, currently he would rather be lightening mcqueen or Blaze the monster truck!! 
The boys found dinosaur fossils, Danny chose a velocorapters killing claw necklace and Connor a t Rex tooth. They were so excited!

The first animal we met on our safari was the girraffes and zebras again, then tapiers and flamingos!

The next part you have the option to bypass as as the signs say they will attack your car! We decided to whip off the aerial and go in! We drove around the enclosure and saw a few mummy and baby monkeys and started to wonder what all the fuss was about, until this brute came along!

He jumped on our car, showed us his butt tried chewing off the jet washers on the front of the car and after completing what I can only presume was a tap dance on the roof of the car, pulled off the back washer cover! The boys thought this whole thing was hilarious and couldnt stop giggling. Another monkey sat on the roof of the car infront scratching his butt and eating an apple, again hilarious!

Once we had escaped the very cheeky monkeys we then drove past Anne the elephant who was hiding out in her house, visited the ostriches, who walked right infront of the car and honestly seeing one up close is so different to books and TV. Their legs and feet are really prehistoric looking! Then a little further along and there's three enormous rhinos grazing next to the car, which is crazy! The camels were shedding at the time and one really did look a little funny as he was almost bald on his head minus a few old grubby man straggly comb over style bits left!

Next it was onto the deer park, there were a few heards of other deer type animals, I can't remember their names really just that they all weed and pooped a lot which the boys found very funny! The red deer enclosure had a little Hut in the middle you could buy deer food in and feed them. Craig got a bit of a shock when one decided try and join us in the car!  The boys stroked and fed her too. Craig was covered in deer slobber haha!

1 week post pink bombshell!

So it's been a week since we found out this little baby we are expecting is infact, a girl! I was in total shock when the sonographer said she was infact a she! Even though deep down I'd had a feeling this baby was a little pink one, I kind of ignored myself and got myself used to the idea of three boys, whilst secretly hoping my hunch was correct!

 Rather embarrassingly, as soon as the words 'little girl' left her lips I had the biggest grin on my face and shouted I told you so at Craig! Baby was very well behaved during the scan, unlike her brothers! She was happy to show all she needed to and kept me and Daddy grinning away with her wriggles and tucking her mini toes under her bottom! It's too cute for words!
 Because Connor was born small and I had to be induced early due to lack of fluid they are keeping a close eye on us this time, so I'll see her again in 7 weeks and every few weeks after that until she arrives!

I left the hospital with a sore face from smiling like a total weirdo and went straight into next to buy the pinkest, girliest frilliest things we could find. Craig thought I was totally ridiculous and kept laughing at me squealing and talking total nonsense about pink and frilly. Once we were back in the car, after another hysterical outburst of THEY ARE SO FRILLY!! We caught each others eye, laughed and then I burst into tears! It was one of those silly moments we won't ever forget.

 I am so happy to be having a little girl but at the same time I'm almost a little wary about being so excited incase they made a mistake..which could happen I spose. But my thinking is..she didn't have a willy then so she won't be growing one now!

We had to wait till Danny was home from nursery to tell the boys the news together. Danny practically ran home! We filled a piñata with pink paper and the frilly socks and a little sleepsuit that says best little sister we had brought earlier. I am so glad I videoed their reactions finding out they are getting a sister, it was beautiful. Danny was sure she was a little girl too so he was extra excited, about being right! They are going to be the best big brothers ever. They love listening to her heart beat through a doppler and her kicks and wriggles are sometimes strong enough to feel through my tummy now. It's started to become really real for them now that their actual little baby sister is in there!

The boys are sharing a room again now, they asked to go back in together even before I was pregnant so that was handy! So the spare room is soon to be transformed into a pink and green fairy utopia!  I've gone a little crazy buying pink rose lights and all things fairyish. I can't wait to decorate it all! Here's a few ideas I'm hoping to recreate from pintrest, and a few bits (only a few!) I've already brought!

I've always brought cardboard letters and painted the names of my babies for their rooms, and we have had this name in mind way before I was pregnant. So I made her little name all ready last night. I didn't paint it though I decoupaged....which is a posh way of saying I cut up rough pieces pretty paper and glued them on with pva ha! I love how messy and rough you can be with it yet it gives you instant satisfaction!  I'll probably redo the boys names now too as they are looking a bit beaten up!

So I'm still getting my head around it all. I'm seriously going to need to enlist some help on how to do some basic pretty hairstyles (I can just about put my hair in a pony tail and usually look like I've just got out of bed in the hair front... so she's doomed!) I need to figure out whatever the hell girls watch and like on TV...got a feeling dinotrux and fierce aren't going to cut it...and how to even dress a girl!  Boys are simple...pair of jeans, and trainers that go with everything and t shirts usually with dinosaurs or cars on done, everyone's happy. Girls!? Tights,  head bands, matching knickers and shoes!? Couple of pairs of trainers aren't going to cut it here! Lots to learn, but what an exciting thing to learn!

Thanks for visiting! XxxX