So long 2015!

I know I'm a little early, but I actually have plans tomorrow night (!!!) so I thought it best to post now. Craig and I are off to the cinema to see the new star wars movie. He's stupidly excited, I've never seen anything star wars related but it's an evening out and with no kids so I couldn't care less what I watch!!  Who knows maybe I'll like it, everyone else seems to? That big hairy guy... Chewbacca? Seems pretty cool!

I hope everyone has had an amazing magical Christmas. Ours was... different, without David. It was bitter sweet. But we all seemed to crack a few smiles and enjoy the day. He was definitely in everyone's minds and I'm sure he was there with us. I definitely felt like I was being watched with dismay whilst putting the boys scaletrix together... Backwards!!

The boys were totally thrilled with their presents. Danny got a robot dinosaur (which is so much fun!) from santa and Connor a brilliant little helicopter with a working winch, siren and propeller!  Along with a scaletrix,  avengers action figures, books puzzles and an enormous tub of duplo to name a few. I was spoilt too, and so chuffed Craig had actually brought me a present that I didn't know about, and it was beautiful.  He surprised me with a charm bracelet, and the charms he had chosen were really thoughtful! My favourite being one with pearls in because he knew my Nanny used to wear pearls and I love it! I'm a lucky girl!

We watched movies and the boys had cuddles with everyone and I drank too much rum and couldn't contain myself when Dawn put the turkey on the table and said to 'grab your meat' honestly...  Ha!

So now it's the weird in the middle of Christmas and new year where all you hear about is sales and new year diets (which by the way I really need to!)  It is a good time however, to reflect on the past year and look to the new year and really begin to think about it all. Sorry, starting to sound like a fortune cookie! I usually hate new year because I have just gotten comfortable in the current year, and now it's all cold, and the 1/1 and all shiney and new and unfamiliar. I've said before I'm a creature of comfort, however I'm glad to see the back of this one!
2015 has been a bastard. An all singing all dancing bastard.  I would easily say it's been our worst year ever. There has been so much sadness, soul crushing, bone aching sadness. Loads of real crappy times plus three miscarriages, finding out about and dealing with Jacky and her diagnosis, and the loss of David....it's been one hell of a year.
I am 100% not the same person who I was at the beginning of this year. And I'm glad.  I've learnt that actually I am really strong and much more capable of things than I first thought. I appreciate my boys and Craig on a whole new level, which in turn has made all of our relationships stronger. That actually, it is important for me to do things just for me too. Perhaps the main reason for starting this blog.
I have began to reignite passions within me that just got back benched for a while. Still just a flicker at the moment but a start!  I've realised who is really important to me. Who is always there when I need them and who isn't. That's been a biggy.

Of course there have been moments in the last year that have been fantastic too.  Danny starting nursery,  family trips out and as many lovely memories with my boys as I could hope for. How they have grown into real independent little boys and how fast they change. A year from now they will be unrecognisable and that both excites and terrifies me!

I have had my hormonal blood test results back regarding the miscarriages. All totally normal. So although I have no answers I carry no guilt either. So that's a positive note to start the new year with.  Plus Craig's job has many exciting opportunities on the horizon. I'm very lucky to have such a motivated and family orientated man by my side. So again, exciting news! I have sent off my volunteer forms to age UK so hopefully in a few weeks I'll hear from them, it will feel great to be working with people again, and hopefully helping them too. Connor will start nursery in April,  which totally guts me (he's my baby!!)  and excites me too. He totally loved his taster session and I look forward to seeing him bloom and make new friends, just like Danny has. Plus I have a little neice due in a matter of weeks so I'm very excited about buying pink and being the cool Aunty Grace!!


Okay,  so a few resolutions/hopes for 2016
1. ( everyone's number one!) I do actually need to loose some weight now, no more excuses!
2. Drink less coffee, more water!
3. Organise to see my friends more often (although this is not my fault, they are as bad as me!)
4. Carry on writing be it this blog, short stories, kids stories just get some of my ideas down on paper!
5. Seriously start saving some money, even if its just a little each month. I really need to change my last name at some point and wear a pretty white dress!!  Really!
6. I hope Connor has a brilliant time at nursery and Danny at school when he starts in September (ahhhhhh)
7. Get my hair cut more than once a year!!
8. That I either have or am pregnant with baby number 3 and he /she arrives safely!
9. See more of my family, as few and far between as it is!
10: Buy more lottery tickets so I actually stand a chance of winning.  Because well, I really want to please!?

Happy new year everyone. 2016 is going to be good. I can feel it!

Thanks for visiting XxxxX

Love your elf!

So it's December. Which officially means Christmas. Now, I had no family traditions growing up so it's hugely important to me to make Christmas magical with a few traditions with our boys. Something they can rely on, be excited by and to remember with fondness every year. We have a few, I try and take a photo everyday for the month of December depicting something Christmassy we have done every day. Here's a few so far..

On Christmas eve we make cookies for Santa, and have a Christmas eve box. With new pj's, a book and some little gift inside. This is presented by our little friend Eddie,  our elf on the shelf. Yes, elf on the shelf....and we love it!

Recently I've been seeing a lot of things on pintrest, Facebook etc saying how stupid elf on the shelf is! What!? For reasons like you forget and kids have touched the elf and people must have too much time on their hands. Now, we only adopted Eddie last year. Danny was just 3 and Connor was almost 2 (that sounds so long ago!). We brought him from a garden centre, as honestly? The original elf on the shelf gives me the creeps....

Sorry dude.

Eddie arrived on the 1st of December with the boys advent calenders, in a flurry of powdery snow (icing sugar) and a little note. I don't really go with the he's come to watch you and report to Santa every night, because again,  creepy! Instead Eddie comes to do funny things at night, leave Christmassy items like crafty bits, or something like biscuits to ice, or simply just to hide somewhere waiting to be found in the morning. So far he has changed the boys duvet sets to Christmas themed ones, which was soo tricky to do whilst they are asleep!! But with worth it! He has been found doing a puzzle with hulk and Woody and reading the gruffalo a story.  Oh, and he made a snow angel (icing sugar again)  on the table , which Connor destroyed in typical Connor style!!

My table is still sticky!!

It's just so much fun! Tonight, we have clearly lost our minds as we have introduced a second elf. Eddie's big brother Freddy! My thinking is I can get them to create double the chaos and have double the fun!

 Plus, I know this is years and years down the line but when my boys are all grown up and have children of their own I'd like to think they will carry on the tradition and I can now pass on an elf to each of them!


So heres to all the elf lovers out there. I am certainly one of them! Now we have two my mind is buzzing over with ideas (and I feel maybe a little pintrest obsession coming on!)

I mean who doesn't love an elf!? How can you not love this guy!!?

Anyways, thanks for visiting! XxxxX 

Second star to the right, and straight on till morning

Good evening. It's been a while since I wrote anything, but it's been a hard, well awful time for our family.
We lost Craig's wonderful father, and my son's deeply adored grandad last week. We are all completly heartbroken, but trying to carry on as normal, well as normal as we can be anyway. He hated any fuss, and he certainly wouldn't have been happy if we didn't make Danny's birthday and the run up to Christmas special for the boys, so we are trying our best. It doesn't feel the time nor the place to say much more, but the boys look for his star in the sky every night.

The weekend before Danny's birthday we went to the Castle Mall light switch on. We visited Santa and we almost have a photo of them both smiling this year!  Danny asked for an iron man and a robotic dinosaur (phew! He's sorted!) and Connor a hulk and a robo turtle (two happy boys this year!) Then just as we were leaving Santa hulk, iron man, spider man and bumble bee all walked out of the lift. Their eyes almost popped out of their heads!  Their heros were right there! They had photos and chatted with them for a while until a rather large crowd of people made their way towards us! We met a man on stilts and the ninja turtles too, watched the show and came home with dinosaur balloons. It was a really awesome evening!

We had some tesco days out vouchers left to use up so we decided to visit a zoo we haven't been to before. They had dinosaurs so decided it was worth the best part of a 200 mile trip. Only to find the gates shut. Luckily good old Google found us another wildlife Park 12 miles away so off we toddled to Shepreth wildlife Park. It was honestly a brilliant little find. There were indoor play areas, outdoor play areas a discovery centre filled with lifelike dinosaur and animal statues, tigers that you could get so close to. I was uber happy at this and watched them for that long the boys (and Craig!)  started moaning at me!  There was a walk through bat enclosure which Connor and I found hilarious and Danny and Craig hated!  The bats would just fly straight towards you and over your heads! There was a walk through rabbit enclosure with huge bunnies in!

There was even a trampoline for the monsters to play in, and a bug and fish secret enclosure within the gift shop. Lovely little place, reckon it would have been hell during the height of the busy season though!  They pretty much had the place to themselves!

Danny had a lovely forth birthday. We went to a place called high altitude, which is basically a room of trampolines on the floors, and the walls! There was also a big bouncy bag to jump onto and a basket ball net to shoot hoops into. He even got a few goals! It was brilliant. Maybe we may have a little birthday party for him and a few friends next year?

He was desperate for a wildpet spider (a really realistic robot spider) which came with a house and carry case too. It's pretty cool. It has three modes,  green mode where it runs about,  blue when it creeps about in its house and red when it runs super quick at you. This is obviously a big hit with a four year old boy! (Argh! FOUR!?!) Unfortunately, it's already taken a dip in the dog's water bowl and it's replacement is in the post!!

We put the Christmas decorations up this weekend and little Eddie (our elf on the shelf) has made a return. So far he has brought advent calendars and got caught trying to do a puzzle with woody and spiderman... Oh and a few wrestlers too! Our tree arrived today so we have sneakily put it up ready for them in the morning. I've even managed to sneak in a meerkat, a hedgehog and a pheasant this year (much to Craig's dismay!!)  Can't wait to see their faces in the morning!!

I hope David would have approved of our new tree. Perhaps not the meerkat though!

Thanks for visiting XxxxX